⏰TRICKY little FUCKER [💥MIND-BLOWN💥]
[29.01.24]--Mondays are for things that have blown my mind - keep in mind that, if dynamite were brains, I wouldn't have enough to blow my nose! (o_0)
Helloo0o0ooo…There! Greetings Once Again to My Reet ‘Honourable’ Chasers! ..(0_o)..x
Excuse me for that mad greeting where I feel like I should adjust my curly white wig a bit more and throw down the gavel immediately. As after that intro, notwithstanding the rest of this discussion, which is about to commence - I'm pretty sure I'm shooting above my station! Whatever that entails… 🙊🚀🙊😁❤️🐑💥
Here I am again on a Monday evening, night, late at night essentially ‘burning the midnight oil’ as I have been procrastination or ‘gearing up’ towards being ready to let loose on the keyboard with whatever it is I am supposed to be all day today - for Monday remember - and it’s almost four zeros on the digital clock already… you know what that means? It means that I am only just beginning Monday’s 💥MIND-BLOWN💥 post at 11:59 pm at night. I’ve already fucked up for anyone else living in the BST time zone (have I got that correct?). I swear, I can never work out ‘time zones’ usually on my own but I heard someone somewhere say something along the lines of British Summer Time changes as the clocks go back or forward. That’s how I got to the conclusion that BST is my timezone. I’m in a little place called Manchester, North-West England, UK… World, Ahmen! Well, as I was saying or about to say so… I am sorry to all my local Chasers! I guess being late is better than being ‘never’ haha. I’m so stupid. I have work to do yet I’m sitting here cracking myself up with daft little intro jokes. I’m wondering now who else does that ‘building yourself up -subconsciously- by procrastination, to a point where BOOM suddenly out of nowhere, the internal alarm clock goes off and you just know that it’s time! The time has come to do the thing you’ve been thinking about all this time and knew that it wasn’t the right time, yet now the time has come you are running out of time and it’s a ‘racing the clock’ situation.
Time, is a tricky little fucker isn’t it!? It doesn’t sleep, or pause, or rest or stop for anyone. I heard that somewhere today. I also heard on this very upbeat ‘motivational writer’s channel’ that we are “all one step closer to death every fucking minute!” hahahah it made me laugh because; (a) it’s 100% accurate (b) it couldn’t have been said better in a more matter-of-fact tone (c) a man after my own heart (or whatever the fuck that oldie worldy phrase used to be before it died on its dick and got a kick out of a cunt like me reusing it… ‘after my own heart’ said with a fucking hard-on!) By that comparison, I am talking about my level of brutal blatant honesty about everything in a doom and gloom and mostly morbid temperament and tone. This writer guy’s channel is mostly pure entertainment and education and fucking funny as fuck too, but that one line about time running out and death - really almost took my breath away because - laugh!? I fucking howled at the way it was just thrown in with a twinkle of the eye and a semi.. Stop it! I’ll rethink and reword what I was about to say *with a semi-smile*. I’ll change it to with *half a smirk* instead. Back to what I was thinking and saying about time being a tricky little fucker and procrastination is just a way of feeding the time. Well, in my experience, I work well without a deadline. I work better when time is against me yes, but not well under pressure.
In fact my stubborn little brain does the opposite; oh there is a bit of pressure here, I have a time limit I see, I feel like I should stamp my feet, dig my heels in the ground, wait for that deadline to elapse and then, and only then, shall I even consider giving the task in hand some of mine. Time. I’ll work much faster knowing I am already behind and always fucked before I’ve even tried. If I’m going to be late.. I shall be fashionably late. Like, faster than if I were to have left earlier. Do you get me?
I’m pretty certain, I am always most comfortable as the underdog, the last to arrive, the first to leave, the outsider, the odd one out, the wrong one, the ugly one, the no one.. Now, surely you ‘get me now?’ Nope? Didn’t think so… that’s another place on the unspeakable spectrum where I feel most at home, most rest assured, most secure and peaceful and safe, in amongst the unloved, the undesirables, the underrated and the misunderstood. I mostly like it when I’m already out without any lower level to set the bar - I am at the lowest of all low.
Maybe, I like rock bottom knowing that all I have to do to go up is fucking stop doing nothing. Do something, anything, or keep on doing what I’m not doing because I’m quite content here. Fuck it. (-there is no rhyme, reason or theme intention, purpose, explanation as to what’s with all the ‘Lordy Lordy’ (as in House of Lords) type puns and mentions.. I just felt like doing it. I still get a kick out of legal shit. Mostly because I am trying to avoid all the illegal loves and pastimes of my life. I am ruined when not in ruins or being ruined or ruining someone else’s ruins… I am not myself at all. I am a fish out of water. I swear I can’t breathe very well, don’t know what’s going on, won’t even blink an eye… just frazzle up and die probably.
When I am not slumming it in my position in life.. then I am just a small fish in a big pond. I am a BIG FISH in a Small PUDDLE every time I take my time and do things when I tell myself I am ready. I do this by re-fueling my tank… my car’s been off the road for far too long, been nowhere, none nothing, should be full, no leaks or damage, still I sit it on the driveway and give it a good old wash down with a sponge the size of a base-baller’s Jordan’s (trainers) and run a few more gallons or extra pumps of petrol through its pipes… oh my metaphorical game is on fire tonight !
Shame, how I am beginning to lose my thread now and I am tired and will probably not be able to make head nor tail of this tomorrow. I know now, I am making sense in everything I am saying but am I the only one who actually does all this kind of shit? (Not the procrastination part) The ‘fucking with time and most comfortable positions to be in, right or wrong.
Q1: Are you always on the right or wrong side of time?
(tell me your thoughts about this question in the comments below which I opened especially for you Monday Chasers! Tonight!)
Q2: which side do you perform better on?
I think ( OTHER THAN TONIGHT ON THIS POST) I might be only keeping comments OPEN TO EVERYONE on TUESDAYS newsletters - and closed on the rest as I think the paid subs commenting is a little extra perk until I think up more good stuff. Thank you (O_0) xxx REMEMBER: I have another *NEW* JUSTCLINGINGON newsletter (entirely free personal essays with comments always open to everyone. If you like this side of things, I think you’ll love it over HERE too!).
What has blown my mind lately (in short!)
My relationship with time. Tricky little fucker it is. My ability to fuck with it too!
Discovering that he origin of where the phrase TOO POSH TO PUSH came from might have been the supermarket conveyor belt breaking down and the person behind me becoming annoyed, stressed and agitated when told to ‘push the items along’ up to the checkout person.
hEy Hey Chasey Delaney Whatever you say Has gotta be right