"The Morning After" +PlayList
16 October 2024
The morning after playlist…
It’s not that great this one but I made it and so will share it.
FOUND this short sentence (in the aftermath of putting myself through a much longer sentence of stress and self-defeat!) already in my drafts so we SHALL BEGIN with outing the old and getting in with the NEW. GOod MoRNinG! 16 October 2024
When I realised my focus and attention was worth a lot more than my distraction I lost taste for being wrapped up in my relationship troubles. I owe you all an apology for a while there I was so self-absorbed in my worries and frightened for my future, I allowed myself to get sucked into the vortex of desperation and focused on the missing parts instead of what was there. I said in one of my other newsletters how I have been unable to empathise with my partner’s plight, and everything he has to put up with by living, loving and looking out for me. I noted that it was ever since I felt the disconnect between us. What I meant by disconnecting is him withdrawing from me emotionally, sexually, and subtly intimately. Then of course I got sick, recovered, got drunk, rejoiced and then recovered this half-written (at the time) paragraph of depression and I thought, why not keep it in but let us not begin as we mean to go on. “Sometimes in life you just have to put a bow tie on your chicken, carry the fuck on with the day!”
I didn’t manage to attend one of those writing ZOOM meetings that all the other members of Poetic Anarchy Crew have been enjoying but I do have to get on with my first messy draft of my book.
Plans For today:
Clean up and pour a fresh cup of coffee
Work on writing first draft of book
Eat something tasty and more coffee
Achievements this week:
Finished an entire BOOK reading it to the very end (I always Do Not Finish (DNF) them subconsciously by never picking the one I am reading back up after the first chapter!) NOT with this one: I loved it. Such a source of inspiration that I too could write an entire book from my own experiences as hermit doing nothing. Not saying this book is like THAT. It’s a masterpiece in my opinion, the writing is superb, the atmosphere remained stable and soothing and the actual sombre voice throughout was very relatable to my own. In fact this book gave me a sound for mine. Ottessa Moshfegh is my new FAVOURITE AUTHOR. I intend to read her first book next which is totally different, a psychological thriller (I think) and a book of short stories; Eileen and Lapnova respectively. Anyway, I should add ‘Shower’to number 4 of my to-do plans list. Here’s a pic of me rough holding up probably the fourth of fifth full book I’ve ever completed in my existence. Even though I live surrounded by books, paper, fiction and memoirs and fucking information!!
