'Overheard Conversations' Saga
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Thursday 5 June 2025
If this is a bit of a different surprise to what you might have been expecting. If you thought this was going to be my Aural Contraband Music Playlists newsletter, it’s moved to HERE:
Dear Chasers!
This is going to be a snipped version of events that have been going on today because I am still ‘living them’ and don’t wish to being backtracking (too soon) and repeating this ongoing saga as it is right at the moment - especially not on this particular page which would mean re-living the bullshit again. I’ll just give you the ‘clipped’version which will still be pretty lengthy; you know what I’m like - I honestly get carried away because I’m trying my best to perform when I’m practically splintering as we speak :(
I will share with you mostly my feelings about them and general chit-chat because speaking to you really helps me regulate my mood and straighten out my emotions soon.
*see this Substack NOTE:
Since this happening, I was in the bath. His brother was on the mobile phone with my boyfriend. Boyfriend leaves phone on the side table in the bedroom (which is next to the bathroom) whilst he takes the dog into the garden to do her business. We have an open door rule about the bathroom, mostly for me when I’m taking a bath. I don’t mind if he decides to close the door during his.
I’m told to keep the door open “so the dog can lie on the bathmat with me*’ I don’t mind doing whatever he asks. It’s not skin of my tits (so to speak) but what is most fucking annoying about it though, is that whenever I take a bath the boyfriend pesters me to get out of it, or comes in to take a shit, or winds me up and threatens to turn the overhead shower on freezing cold and spray it at me unless I hurry up and get out.
Today was different because of he was busy on that phone call. When he left his phone on the side in the bedroom I overheard his brother talking to a girl** called (fake name - Pebbles***) saying to her “well, Pebbles! What are you gonna do about Chase? Chase is going to be there. What about Chase!”
Now for the record, my boyfriend insists that his brother was aware that I was able to hear him through the phone (which wasn’t on loudspeaker) but he knew I could hear him apparently. My boyfriend has told him the bathroom door was open and I was able to hear if I wanted to.
I’ve had suspicions about her being back on the scene at his new house anyway. Now hearing him talking to her when he thought he was alone waiting on the phone for my boyfriend to get back to him, suggests he didn’t know I was listening/ or he didn’t care. Either way, my boyfriend has insisted that IF his brother did say that - he was only pretending to be with someone.
He said his brother was drunk again and being a wanker as he always does whenever he is drinking heavily. His brother is an alcoholic-in-denial. He was ‘recovering’ if that’s even a thing. He was off the drink then slid back into it saying “he doesn’t have a problem”.
I trust my own instincts so I just calming said: “You do you, and I’ll do me. That’s it. My ‘cheating’**** isn’t real. Yours is!.”
So I’m sleeping on the couch tonight and for the foreseeable future. I am also refusing to ‘go away’ with him as we planned to. I feel like I’m single again now. I will stay at home for the 10 days he goes away on the trip. He has to go no matter what. I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to. I’ll keep the dog with me at home. Let him go fuck around closer to his brother’s house and like we’ve been talking about YOU and I here in this:
….FUCK IT … FUCK HIM … GIVE HIM ENOUGH ROPE…
*its true the dog does like to sit with me sometimes.
**girl = this tramp and my boyfriend did a cruel thing in his brothers kitchen with me in the other room being held ‘hostage’ by her friend, and lied to my face about anything happening even though the fucking horrible little cunt had made her squirt all over the kitchen floor which they both said was leaking beers.
***Pebbles - is a suitable name for a dickhead with a flat pancake face full of daft freckles like a pebble-dashed plate. I fucking hate that girl with a passion. I hope she does end up with my fella forever…. that will be her punishment for being a slag-cunt.
****I talk to people online. Other males. I feel guilty of cheating. I have that imaginary thing with The MUSE that I like writing about. I don’t shag anyone, but I still believe it’s infidelity. Emotional Cheating. So, I hold my hands up there.
Recent Feelings:
RE: Stuff That’s Floating Through My Heart
Blood. ha! No. I’m so sorry but I’ve had enough of trying to do normal activities - no matter how much I love them. I have had to pull my big baggy knickers up over my eyebrows and stick a coat-hanger in my mouth to force an upward frown (smile).
I can activate my ‘stubborn’ when I know it is justified and beneficial to my plight. I decided that no matter what was making my heart heavy and my ache, I wouldn’t let any of it interfere with my day.
I wanted to sit alone in a dark room and do nothing. Fuck all. Sit in my emotion refusing to think. I didn’t do that.
I wanted to welcome the despair and enter deep depression. I didn’t. I wanted to cry.. I almost did some of that.
In the end, I still phoned my Mum back on video call. I still chatted about anything, the rain, Mum’s broken fence, the dogs, what we had for tea (dinner) and just put on a brave ‘unbothered’ exterior.
To the point where He (the boyfriend) actually misunderstood my normality as an invitation to come ‘seek a fucking apology from me!’ - DICKHEAD. Telling me to ‘Make him a cuppa tea’ like everything is normal. - FUCK YOU.
What I forgot to mention was that it wasn’t just the word I’d ‘overheard’ that I was stewing on, I was but privately. It was his reaction, his response, his lies, his attitude, his behavior towards me about it all - THAT was why I was outwardly pissed off.
- Inside; I’m fucking heartbroken but won’t let that horrible little twat know he’s hurt me. I keep reminding myself what I’ve been doing. Been dragging my heart over to other places.
In reality - it was always for him. I never wanted to bail on him. I’d never hurt him like he keeps hurting me. I hate him for his betrayals.
I’ve written two newsletters today (Wednesday’s and Thursday’s daily update) and one for the Aural Contraband (see link at top of this letter).
For the time being, I’m tired. I’m hurt, and I’m done. Sorry everyone. I’m so sorry. I’m slowing sliding down the happy pole - not in a good way - I’m avoiding being down-in-the-dumps.
I’ll be back tomorrow. Here’s a letter from the past. SORRY. xx
*NEWS* Nothing much to report. I haven’t read a scrap of any of the books that I’ve been sharing with you. I’ve not read any books since Monday or something. Have you noticed a slight theme running through these PDF LINKS yet? Well their all profound RUSSIAN WRITERS…x I love this kind of literature. The same way I love people. I may never have met them, don’t even know them, can’t understand them, impossible to relate to them,… just sense their essence… and follow my curiosity. Enjoy! Tonight it’s Bulgakov.
CLICK LINK BELOW FOR THE FREE PDF:
THE WHITE GUARD - Mikhail Bulgakov
You are a valuable consumer of me ;) & you are invited to be here!x
SOMETHING TO consider REMEMBER:
I’m going to post all week 6 days to my blog (online only). If you want to read these letters in real time, please follow and/or subscribe (to access Subscriber’s Chat) so when I post online ONLY and just share a link to it in the Chat, you’ll be able to keep on top of them as they’re coming.ON SUNDAYS I’LL SEND YOU A ROUND-UP EMAIL WITH QUICK LINKS TO ALL THE WEEKS NEWSLETTERS. How’s that sound to you? Good I hope? ..x
Recent Screenshots *ART* :
((( Credit: Michela Tabone Instagram: illunatica )))
Check out one of my other random posts.
GOODBYE WITH LOVE AND A LOVELY EXIT SONG:
Sub/Follow Each, All or Any of My Current (ongoing) Publications:
JustClingingOn - Main BLOG - here I try to keep it more wholesome and sentimental family , relationship topics
*LOL*justclingingon - Side BLOG - here I try to tackle deeper topics - still lifestyle choices and shit going on but I try to write it from a more ‘funny’ laughable, lighthearted perspective.
ChasingTheMUSE - Secret Stack - Sort of a spin off place to talk about other ‘imaginary relationships’ The MUSE being a person I admire, obsessions, confessions, talking about being in love there.
ItsJUSTaPOEM - POETRY place - A bit scarce of content at the minute as I’ve lost my love of poetry a little bit. Starting to get back into it - bit by bit - slowly but surely.x
AuralContraband - Music Playlists - I choose themes and tunes and embed individual songs in a long playlist style, images and soon to be incorporating information, reviews, opinions and videos too.
The Daily Chase - THIS ONE! - Just dropping in with a little bit of something on a daily basis. Let you know how life is going. x
Well that’s all for now. Thanks for reading and supporting my work - even by just sharing or hitting the like button. Take it easy! x