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40 NIGHTS RE-FIX [1/40] on THE DAILY CHASE (my productivity challenge!)
💌[1/40] on The Daily Chase 40 NIGHTS RE-FIX self-inflicted personal writing PRODUCTIVITY CHALLENGE!
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18 JULY 2024 - 1:59 AM
Dear Chasers💗
Welcome to my new beginning (yet again!) I have been lulled back into the beauty of writing and reaching out to stomp my mucky footprints into the world. What I want to do is write for 100 days straight, to get back some major momentum; knowing how useless I am at keeping to a routine, giving myself some leeway and splitting that target up into sections (starting at 40 nights) might help me to get stuck in without overfacing and each bite of the apple I will get truly stuck in and give my absolute all, whole heart, mind, soul - fill my boots.
Nothing too major or too boring to share. I have tried the generic ‘listing’ of ideas.. which I love reading other people’s lists of ‘what books I am reading, podcasts I’m listening to’ and so on but this format freaks me out in my own work style. So, upon closer inspection, I figure the ‘Free Write Eassy(ish)’ foundation template works well for me. Of course it’s the easiest and less demanding - if you knew my life right now, probably a tonne less hectic than your own in terms of responsibly and demands, but still a fraction more challenging than what I can personally handle and still wander around everywhere without pulling my hair out and shouting ‘I’m a Schizophrenic get me out of here’. I just don’t have the adequate tools to begin to unpack my emotions with everything that is happening to me and around me and without my existence, my exit or my…
ENTRANCE SONG:
MY INTERNAL LIFE TORMENTS ME. EXTERNAL LIFE TAUNTS ME TOO.
All I SEE IS YOU….
I keep trying to just be good and it’s whenever I imagine you may be reading this that I realise.. You Make ME Want To BE GOOD (as a writer). Not just tapping at it like I haven’t been writing every day since about 4 or 5 years of age anyway. Everyone knows how the fuck to write. It’s not the how-to of the century. It’s not about what you write, it's the passion that is derived from the if, but, when and why you decide to write. I just want to be better at telling my tales and at one point I wanted to impress you. I should have contemplated that right at the start before embarrassing myself by showing you all those ‘cuuute’ tit pics!! I should have hidden my face, concealed the crush I had on you, and just at the very least, kept my fucking clothes on. I should never have promised to piss in the woods behind my street on video for you to watch - a promise still left unfilled although, I did manage a 30-second fanny squirting down a wardrobe door onto a filthy carpeted bedroom floor. The dirtiest part of the video clip. The actual photo genealogy (I have no idea if the words I am using are accurate to the context now, here, or anymore!) I’m thinking of Carnal Knowledge… who remembers THAT dating show from the 90s where the potential partner ‘dates’ set-up involved licking tinned whipped creamed from off each other’s toes while blindfolded eurrrgghh all that squirty cream on fuck knows whose cheesy feet. !! Which brings us full circle. My pussy looked like my worst tragedy. I should be sent to jail already, never mind after the new law was put in place about unsolicited sex pics. What I had between my legs is fucking criminal. The way It gets ‘manhandled’ these days is done like the equivalent to a staunch nun, a Patron Saint of Goody-2-Shoes; cautiously sliding into my jogging bottoms with a gloved hand, attempting to search and investigate what’s in there hoping to find something worth conviscating only to return without anything except nightmarish bad-as-hell memories and a guilt trip for stroking and patting down Carnal Contraband. Nevermind. Worse 30-seconds of HIS life IF he hit PLAY.
We were just talking about the MUSE. Who I cannot seem to forget about yet. I am also trying to STOP COMPARTMENTALISING everything that I write. I want it all to be in the same place moving forward. If you haven’t been able to subscribe to my Chasing-The-Muse (no link provided) Newsletter It has something to do with my settings and I am so clueless that I cannot correct it - nor do I even want to anymore- I tested the waters and tried to sign up for free from one of my backup email addresses and it wouldn’t let me without my permission! I have never even had a notification to say that anyone wants to subscribe and with a lovely loyal 20 subs over there I am going to ask them if they don’t mind being exported over here (if they’re not following or receiving my emails here already). My favourite piece about the muse is this one:
A LONELY( introduction to love)MOMENT WITH (of) THE MUSE
Farewell for this evening Chasers! 💗
I’m extremely tired now its 2:00 AM - we just finished off the day with a GAMING SESH (him - my husband-ish bane) and ME an hour at my desk… (‘‘‘‘‘‘working’’’’’’) - Extra, Extra air quotes for that word !!!. I will love you and leave you for now.
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